I have sent those nasty little brutes a letter detailing my plans (I left out the part about how I will string them up by their legs and gut them, as I infuriatingly ran out of paper just as I was getting going), but at least they are now aware of my intentions towards them. Now, Edward, put away your sense of mercy, and charge forward with God's work of revenge before you lose your resolve! Bloody murder shall be done before this month is out!
Also, I have developed this worrying rash on my backside, just above my left thigh. It's not bad—it hasn't spread or anything—but it's bothering me enough that I really do think I ought to have someone look at it.