I must admit that my plans to enact a righteous revenge against the godless bloggers from Peep This Diary for murdering my poor brother Patrick were thrown up in the air somewhat this week, when I discovered that Patrick is, in fact, not really dead at all. As Jack put it, when we discussed this new turn of events over a game of golf (which I won handily, btw—seven years playing "strike the coconut" with the natives on my island paid off!), "It's just so typical of Patrick to throw everyone's plans into disarray. The best sign you could have that you've come up with a brilliant evil scheme is when Patrick strides in at the last minute to ruin the whole thing." I would not normally make a habit of agreeing with such a profligate wretch, but it must be said that he has a point.
I am still weighing the option of murdering Jack and his friend anyway—just for the principle of the thing—but the whole affair has really taken the wind out of my sails a bit.
Nice to see Patrick again, though.